Friday, August 27, 2010

Music Video Mathmatix: Teenage Dream

Random, unnecessary, and inexplicable boxing subplot.


Lyrics that sound like they were ripped from a 9th grader's AIM away status...or the modern technological equivalent that I'm too old to understand or care about.


30-year-old creepfest getting it on with a "teenager" in a seedy motel.


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Do you like scary movies? I like that one with the hottie-hot-hot from Party of Five.

Hollywood seems to have a knack for beating a dead horse, forcing its corpse to do a press tour, and then stamping its image on glasses sold for an exclusive period at your local Burger King. Most of the time, this is utterly infuriating, especially when you know that no matter how many Land Before Time movies they make (thirteen), the dinosaurs are all still going to die.

However, this is one tetralogy I can get behind. (You can say "tetralogy" or "quadrilogy"; either way, you'll sound smart. And nerdy.) Let's recap:

Drew Barrymore is awesome. Garage doors are scary. Who names their child "Skeet" anyway?

Scream 2
No one remembers anything about this one. It was set at a college, and Roseanne's sister was the killer. Still no? Eh, okay.

Scream 3
Hysterically self-referential. Heather Matarazzo cameo. Also with Noel from Felicity, Parker Posey, Jenny McCarthy, and the chick with bird bones from 30 Rock.

Scream 4 includes series veterans Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, and David Arquette, and cast additions include Alison Brie, Rory Culkin, Hayden Panettiere, and Adam Brody. First of all, there's a 97% that this film will satisfy my desire to see a Hayden Panettiere character die, a desire that sadly went unfulfilled throughout two seasons of Heroes and the third Bring It On movie. Secondly, the Scream franchise seems to be setting a tradition of smokin' P.I.s by casting Adam Brody as "Detective Hoss"; if you recall, Patrick Dempsey played the part in the third installment.

And, as an added bonus to my Scream 4 psychage, I learned that the killer's title is "Ghostface Killer." I actually think they've called him or her that throughout the entire series, but, when I hear it, I can't stop thinking of, "Yo Yo Ma and Ghostface Killah to the stage for 'Muffin Top'."

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Cute, in a tough, mumbly kind of way.

Hey, Lucy Slash Gia! You shop at Banana Republic and balance books on your head? Me too! God, celebrities are so accessible.