HEY, GUESS WHAT? I WAS BORN IN ALEXANDRIA, VIRGINIA, BUT MOVED WHEN I WAS SEVEN. THIS IS THE HIGH SCHOOL I WOULD HAVE GONE TO. INSTEAD OF TAYLOR SWIFT, MY HIGH SCHOOL GOT AN ELIZABETH ANN SETON* IMPERSONATOR. NO BIG DEAL.
*Catherine of Siena? I don't remember. I fell asleep during it- it was really boring. And there were no sparkly guitars.
Just a few tips here. Perhaps it's not the best idea to tell your OB/GYN that your wife is great at swallowing, even if you are just talking about vitamin intake. You also might not want to grill your cousin's boyfriend about what he would bring to a marriage, as I am already keeping a close watch on the sexual tension between you and your cousin. Also, sushi and go-karting may not be the best date night for you and your pregnant wife, who has been having terrible morning sickness lately.
Judgmentally yours,
Laura
P.S. Amy's Date, I did not appreciate your suggestion of naming the baby after a Transformers character, and as a result, I do not feel bad for you that Amy decided to "respect her family" and not kiss you all night. HA.
I fully support an over-35 America's Next Top Model rip-off. I do NOT support treating grown women like the babies in Anne Geddes photos. Hell, I don't support the treatment of babies in Anne Geddes' photos. Grown women should not be put in ridiculous poses to form a computer-generated giant butterfly, even if it is for a hundred grand.
To further articulate my thoughts...
Michael Scott: Now, one at a time I want you to express your feelings using "I" emotion language and no judging or "you" statements. Angela: I got this poster for Christmas and I feel I want to see it everyday. It makes me feel like the babies are the true artists and God has a really cute sense of humor. Michael Scott: Come on, seriously, THAT? Oscar: I don't like looking at it; it's creepy and in bad taste and it's just offensive to me. It makes me think of the horrible, frigid stage mothers that forced the babies into it. It's kitsch. It is the opposite of art. It destroys art. This is so much more offensive to me than hard core porn!
So, I've been hearing some rumors that Jenny McCarthy, with help from her friend Oprah, is getting her own talk show (Newsweek, People.com). She already has her own blog on Oprah.com, and "Friday's entry concerned PMS and sugar."THUMBS UP!
When I read this, I thought to myself, "Wait, didn't Jenny McCarthy already have her own show?" You betcha! It was a sketch comedy show that she left Singled Out to do (and which included Brian Posehn from The Sarah Silverman Show). See theme song below. NOTE: Ex-Roommate, if you don't want to see a cheap bastardization of The Mary Tyler Moore Show theme, don't watch.
I, for one, am thoroughly disappointed that Jenny is changing her image from the woman who picks her nose on television to the woman who hosts a super-lame talk show aimed at (yuck) Oprah fans. Especially because I LIKE JENNY MCCARTHY. Sookie from Gilmore Girls is her cousin! She has one of those relationships where she's beginning to physically resemble her partner! Did I mention she hosted SINGLED OUT???
When I first saw Twilight, I thought that Kristen Stewart had been plucked out of obscurity and thrown on the screen, and that this was one of the reasons she is so painfully awkward in interviews. However, since that first viewing, I have seen OMGBELLA in a handful of movies she made pre-Twilight.
And this is when I realized that all of her other roles have just been preparing her for Twilight. She would not be the cough-actress-cough she is today without these other films.
Let's take a look:
1. OMGBELLA is always the new kid. She only goes to science classes. Her lab partners are always her soulmates. Watch up until 0:37.
2. OMGBELLA is always awkward, but you should see her squirm when she talks to her dad, especially about boys. Oh yeah, her dad's always a way more likable character. Watch from 5:16 to 5:45. Watch for an extra fifteen seconds to hear her dad quote High School Musical.
3. OMGBELLA loves to hang out in a tanktop and undies. But really, what teenage girl doesn't??? Her second favorite thing to do? Get sexually rejected by an older guy.
4. I don't know if you know this, but writhing around on the floor in the appropriate manner takes practice. In Panic Room, OMGBELLA's character has a seizure, and she teaches us all the important difference between seizing due to lack of insulin and seizing due to vampire bite: how much you look like you're having an orgasm. Watch from 3:59 to 4:48.
