The Bonus Jonas. No, seriously. They call him that.

I'll admit it, today I watched an episode of JONAS!.  JONAS!, for those of you who don't know, is the Jonas Brothers' television show.  In the show, they essentially play themselves, showing how they balance being rockstars with going to school and being normal kids.  There's really so much to say (judge) about this show, but for now I'd just like to share with you the absolute saddest thing I've ever seen on the Disney Channel, courtesy of JONAS!.

You might not have known this, but there are actually FOUR Jonas Brothers, not three, and I'm not talking about Alec Baldwin.  His name is Frankie, and he's 8 years younger than the youngest (famous) JoBro, Nick.  

Now, of course, if you had three older famous brothers, you'd be super-jealous, right?  They get to do really cool stuff like play for the Obama girls and have a 3-D concert dvd while you get jack shit cause you're nine.  BUT THEN, they decide to give you a role on their show!  Sweet!  Except for the fact that on the show you do exactly what you in real life: show up briefly simply to make your presence known and then get the hell out cause your hot brothers have to sing for screaming tweens.

In the episode I saw, Joe Jonas (the one with the Sandy Cohen eyebrows) told Frankie he'd count to ten and then come look for him.  Frankie says he knows how to play hide and seek and disappears.  We don't see Frankie again until almost the end of the episode when a non-JoBro character opens a cabinet and Frankie hands him a waterbottle.  Then, at the very end of the episode, their bodyguard delivers Frankie's mail to him (still in the cupboard), and a leprechaun hunting tv show sparks the brothers' memories.   I swear, this kid is like a set of handcuffs away from a DCFS phonecall.  Are they supposed to be baby-sitting?  Where are the parents?  Is Frankie going to find out in an upcoming episode that he's actually a famous wizard and can leave his awful home to go to wizarding school?  I guess I'll just have to watch and find out.

Clip of the Day

Clip of the Day

Not the newest clip, but definitely one of the BEST.

And yes, Megan Mullally made them wear name tags because she couldn't get them straight.

Facebook, We Need To Talk.

Dear Mark Zuckerberg or Whoever Owns Facebook Now,

I know my home phone's been broken for the past week, so it's been difficult to contact me, but I'm on facebook all the time and I have a cell phone, WHY DON'T YOU JUST CALL ME UP AND TELL ME I'M MUCH TOO HAIRY FOR YOUR LIKING?  I can't take this whole beating around the bush thing, okay?  (What an awful pun.)  Just say it.  You want me to love lasers and hate body hair and wear uncomfortably low-cut sarongs all the time!  I get it.  A little honesty would have been nice.

Off The (Big Ass) Chain

Here's Taylor Swift...rapping.  Love it or hate it?

Damn, Taylor jacked my line about being gangsta and knitting.  And is T-Pain solely a parody rapper now?  

And now, a golden oldie from back in the day when this idea was new.

Clip of the Day

Just a reminder that this show existed...and that the woman from What I Like About You plays a character named Mary Cherry in it.

P.S.  I've officially been inspired by this and am going to rock the zig zag part today.  

Maybe She's Born With It, Maybe She Received It After a Very Painful and Complicated Ocular Surgery and Months of Wearing an Eyepatch

This is an ad for Maybelline's new mascara, Pulse Perfection.  It's a vibrating mascara.  A VIBRATING MASCARA.  How is this in any way a good idea?  That's like giving reporters those novelty vibrating pens to take notes with.  Or giving surgeons vibrating scalpels.  Granted, putting on mascara isn't heart surgery, I get that, but it does take a steady hand, my friends.  THANKS, BUT NO THANKS.