Remember the episode with all the TAB?

The Sarah Silverman Program has been officially cancelled. I present to you a clip from when Sarah and her dad went on tour as a Lisa Loeb cover band, the Loebtrotters.

I don't know, Halloween H20: 20 Years Later was pretty original...

I mentioned in my last post that finding an original plot at the movie theater is like, to quote Cher Horowitz, "finding meaning in a Pauly Shore movie." Well, now I've got proof. I found an article on the Times Online that lists the 50 biggest movies of 2010, or "the movies most likely to dominate the box-office charts this year."

Here's a breakdown of which of these 50 films present new plots and the sources from which the rest of the remakes draw their inspiration:

Keep in mind that exactly one third of the "original scripts" are part of a series, e.g. Shrek Forever After. That's a lot of expensive, recycled pie you're selling us, Hollywood.

Jack Kerouac's own personal brand of heroin was actual heroin.

I recently read that Kristen Stewart's going to be in a film adaptation of Jack Kerouac's On the Road, and I am pissed.

I'm not upset to hear that Stewart has picked up the role of Dean Moriarty's wife; I actually think this is a good direction for her. As of yet, she's avoided being typecast as the awkward teen/manic dream pixie girl, and choosing what are technically two period pieces in a row is a huge step in continuing her pigeon-holing prevention.

My first real problem with this movie is the fact that it's a book adaptation, which in itself is not a travesty. However, in the context of today's movie listings, in which it is virtually impossible to find a film that is not an adaptation or remake of something else, it is infuriating. I'll come back to this later.

I read On the Road about five years ago, so I'm certainly no expert, but from what I remember, the book has a very distinctive style and aless-than-compelling plot. It's pretty much "We went there, did drugs, and got drunk. Then we went over there, did more drugs, and got drunk again," for a little over three hundred pages. At the time of its publication, it was essentially the manifesto of Kerouac's beat movement and the source of inspiration for many poets, writers, and musicians. When I read it, it was like having a hungover friend recall their night for hours on end. While I can blame my view of the worth of the book on generational discrepancy, I cannot be convinced that a Hollywood revamp of the plot is going to make it any more watchable than the beatnik scene in Hairspray. Not. Gonna. Happen.

Thirdly, I'm pissed because hipsters everywhere are going to eat this shit up. Since the dawn of man, it has been known as fact that in any subculture which espouses the glory of nonconformity, it doesn't take long for certain standards to be set to which participants then rigidly conform. Often, this tends to make them fanny pack-wearing douchebags. Current hipsters will weep at the beauty of the film into their flannel shirts and start writing their Government homework on scrolls, and Twihards, brought to the film with hopes that Dean Moriarty will be sparkly, will quickly switch from Team Jacob to Team Allen Ginsberg. Perhaps I judge too much, especially for someone with an Edward Cullen bookmark and a homemade cat shirt.

P.S. You know the song "I Loved the Way She Said L.A." by Spitalfield? Yeah, that's a quote from On the Road. That's always bothered me.

And now, Hipster Puppies and Hipster Olympics.

Can I bite you or pull your hair or use the Epilady on you 'cause I really need to do something.

Surprisingly, I have been watching (and enjoying) the ABC series Parenthood, which follows a large, middle class, American family that spans three generations as well as almost every pivotal child age- which I'm sure is by no means a ruthless ploy to widen the program's intended market.

If you like, you can follow the grandparents, Camille and Zeek, and their story line, which includes marriage and money troubles. I predict that cancer will be added to their plot plate soon as well, but that's mostly because Zeek is played by Craig T. Nelson, and this show is a Rachel McAdams-less version of The Family Stone.

Or you can watch Crosby (Dax Shepard) reconnect with 5-year-old son he didn't know he had and his son's mother. If you're like me, you'll secretly hope that Dax will convince some higher-ups to give his girlfriend an in and throw in a Veronica Mars sideplot. Because there really aren't enough plots as is.

We also have the lawyer mom, stay-at-home dad combo and the parents who are torn between their newly-dating daughter and their son with Asperger's. (NOTE: The other day, I happened to be watching The O.C. on SoapNet, and it was the episode where Summer's going to fly off to Rome with Zach and his family, and Seth is sad and listening to Boyz2Men, and then Summer sees a little boy playing with a toy horse in the airport who looks like Seth- the boy, not the horse- so she goes to find Seth and kisses him Spiderman-style. Yeah. Well, that little boy was played by the same kid who plays the boy with Asperger's in Parenthood. You're welcome.)

However, the most entertaining sub-family in the show is that of Sarah Braverman (Lauren Graham), single mom and her son Drew and daughter Amber (Mae Whitman. She played the little girl in Hope Floats). And to be quite honest, the sole reason I like them is because they are an alternate universe Gilmore Girls.

In fact, they share several plot lines with GG, including needing your parents to bail you out, dating your daughter's teacher, and going back to school. But the major difference, apart from an overindulgence in eyeliner, is the fact that Sarah Braverman didn't give birth to perfect little Rory Gilmore; her kid is bitter, maladjusted, and sexually active. It's essentially Lorelai Gilmore raising a young Lorelai Gilmore.

Here's a clip:

Throw in a little Milo Ventimiglia, and I'll be hooked.

Suit Up! with Amanda Seyfried

Amanda Seyfried at the premiere of Letters to Juliet (during the 2010 Tribeca Film Festival) held Sunday, April 25, 2010.

My nana takes her Wiig off when she's drunk.

Kristen Wiig. With an accordion. This reminds me of Whatever It Takes.

And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are, Alanis Morissette.

Alanis Morissette is the best guest star ever. No question. Top Three.

3. OB/GYN, Weeds

2. young, hip, spin-the-bottle-playing, friends with Tag chick, Sex and the City

1. God, Dogma

(P.S. This totally ruins the ending.)