Sunday, October 24, 2010

It's the millennium; motives are incidental.

"Right, but then Logan was getting way too into the gang wars,
and my dad kicked him out of the house, and then I started dating Duncan."
"Yeah. But what I didn't know is that he had knocked up his really
religious comatose girlfriend, and so he had to flee to Australia with the baby."

So pumped.

I kinda hope Neve Campbell dies in this one.

Also, Scream franchise, do you not remember that the film-class-to-explain-everything has been done you? And, that one had Joshua Jackson. And Buffy.

Starts at 4:27.

I can't count the reasons I should stay.

In 2007, Gillian Jacobs (Community) and Anna Chlumsky (My Girl) were in a Mean Girls-esque play together. Above is the best photo ever. There's also a 13-minute long interview with them about the play (not worth watching), and this is where I learned that their names are pronounced GILLian (hard G) and CLumsky (silent H). FYI.

Friday, October 1, 2010

HOW TO: Create a chick flick movie poster in minutes!

1. A white background is essential. It symbolizes the vast abyss where a plot should be. Add a slight gradient if you're feeling dangerous, but be warned, cityscapes (Just Like Heaven, The Object of My Affection) and blurry whirlwinds of emotion (Forces of Nature, Serendipity) are really advanced stuff and not to be taken lightly. Like witchcraft.

2. Add protagonist(s) looking coy and flirty or shocked at love! Hands on the hips for extra sass.


Add couple and position them in a way that's a metaphor for their relationship. Can't go wrong with a classic "back-to-back" or any other pose commonly found in prom pictures.

3. You're allowed one prop. It can be flowers, bags (purses and luggage included), or an animal.

4. Title that bitch up! Remember: the human heart is red and pumps 74 gallons of love per day; therefore, your text must be red or pink. Science.

5. The catchphrase is the most important part. Without it, how would the audience know that, "The only risk in taking an adventure is not taking it at all," and other things that don't make sense?

Ta-da! A perfect movie poster! One of a kind...of.