Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I don't want to buy anything, sell anything, or process anything as a career.

How to Create a Commercial in Six Easy Steps:

Step 1 - Film various scenes of people having fun. Be sure to include people of all races, ages, and possible relationships (so as not to alienate any valuable markets). Necessary scenes include people dancing, jumping, laughing, hanging with a pet, jumping, kissing or hugging, and hanging out on a bed (probably jumping). Mix up these scenes, and throw them all together.

Step 2 - Add EITHER a quirky indie pop song OR a get-up-and-dance funk classic.

Step 3 - Add inspiring, yet utterly unoriginal text to reinforce your commercial's message. If you can't fit the text in periodically, combine all the inspiration into one MEGA-INSPIRED line at the end of your commercial.

Step 4 - Infuse your ad with a "Be yourself, be happy, have the good old times all the time, and don't forget to seize the day," message.

Step 5 - Hide the more sinister message of "You cannot be an individual with joy in your heart without purchasing the same things that 50 million other unhappy people are buying," underneath your first message.

Step 6 - Repeat. Over and over and over again.

(Add your flavor)

Oh, and Target is the holy queen of this:
(Long live happy)

Stay you:

Today's the day:

There's an M in everyone:

Create your beautiful for less (with extra skin care):

What's wrong with casual Monday? (with extra dancing):

See what you love:

Find your place in the rhythm of life (with extra wind):

Go forth (with extra Walt Whitman):


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