Friday, November 13, 2009

Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the Earth's gravitational pull?

We are living in the future. I know this not because I can check sports scores while flying through the air or because a tiny screen can tell me where I am and how to get home in a myriad of different languages. No, I know we're living in the future because of Lady Gaga. She is everything we always thought the future would be, especially in her new video for Bad Romance.


1. Everyone will wear clothes that are essentially complex seatbelts. (The Fifth Element)

2. Everyone's clothes, surrounding environments, and person-sized capsules will be white. Unless they're another color, in which case they will be gold, silver, or shiny. (Sleeper. Oh, and every other movie that's set in the future. But Sleeper has Woody Allen. And an orgasmatron.)

3. At one point in the future, you will be naked, and your back will be freaky to look at. (The Matrix)

4. Everyone's eyes will be insanely huge. (Wall-E)

5. You will look like a robot. You will dress like a robot. You will sing like a robot. You will dance like a robot. You will have giant rings around you like a robot. (Metropolis)

6. The end of the future will make no sense. (2001: A Space Odyssey)

And finally, Bad Romance...

No comments:

Post a Comment