Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I Hate Your Big Dumb Combat Boots

I know you're feeling old these days what with graduating from college, not having a job, and realizing that 10 Things I Hate About You was made ten years ago.  Oh, just me?  Okay, cool.  Well, anyway, the people at ABC Family have decided to help us all out by making a tv version of 10 Things I Hate About You.  Yep.  No joke.

Here's a run-down of the cast:
Kat- played by the the girl from a show called Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide
Bianca- the bitchy girl from Camp Rock
Patrick- one of the French lovas from Mary-Kate and Ashley's Paris movie
Chastity (aka "I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?")- the bff from Prom Night
And the only saving grace of this program...Kat and Bianca's dad will be played by the same guy who played him in the movie.  Unfortunately, his presence will probably just be a constant reminder that this show is a sub-par knockoff of a teen classic.

Laura's guide to saving this show:
1.   Mention Bogie Lowenstein ALL THE TIME.
2.  Get the guy who played Michael Bernstein, David Krumholtz, aka the guy from Numb3rs, to come back as a teacher.  And Alison Janney.  And the English teacher, Mr. Morgan.  And then the rest of the cast to come back...and play themselves.
3.  Have every episode end in Bianca punching people, and then in the series finale, Larisa Oleynik should punch everybody and yell, "This one's for my sister!  This one's for Shakespeare!  This one's for ruining the one thing besides Alex Mack that people remember me for!"

I'll leave you with this.

Patrick: Well maybe you're not afraid of me but I'm sure you've thought about
 me naked, huh? 
Kat Stratford: Am I that transparent? I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby. 

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