Thursday, May 28, 2009

My Baby's A Life-Ruiner. She Ruins People's Lives.

ABC Family has a secret, and it's Lindsay Lohan.  While they've been promoting the crap out of their 10 Things I Hate About You knock-off, you have to go freaking spelunking on their website to discover Labor Pains, a new movie starring none other than our own Cady Heron.

Thea Clayhill (Lindsay Lohan) is about to lose her position as secretary to a very cranky publisher (Chris Parnell) - so she lies about being pregnant to save her job.  It works, but now what?

With help from a friend (Cheryl Hines) - and a pillow - Thea fakes a pregnancy while she figures out what to do next.  But in the meantime, her boss gets called out of town and his cute brother Nick (Luke Kirby) takes over.  Nick launches a new parenting division at the publishing company, and he wants Thea to be the editor.  Suddenly she gets a raise and a promotion.  And pretty soon she begins to like her new life - not to mention Nick - a lot.

But how long can Thea keep up this ruse?  And what will happen when everyone learns the truth?

Thea, to answer your last two questions, nine months and you will get fired.

Okay, so first of all, this movie DOES get points for having Chris Parnell.  However...
A.  A pillow is not going to help you unless you plan on having a fictional rectangular baby.  This plot is flimsy, but the laws of baby shape are not.
B.  How would a twenty-something secretary having her first baby be in any way qualified to be a big-time editor for a parenting division of a publishing company?  Sounds like something off The Hills, my friends.

I have a strong feeling that this movie will be awful, and I will love it.  


1.  Babies aren't rectangular.
2.  Babies aren't duodecahedrons.
These laws are valid and binding in the following states: AL, AK, CA, FL, GA, IL, IN, MO, MS, NH, TX, and WY 

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