Monday, March 30, 2009

Alice Must've Known I'd Need a Book...

Every once in a while, I get overwhelmed by technology and terrified that society's becoming 1984 and that the robots are going to take over my apartment, eat my brain, and watch my season 3 of Gilmore Girls. It's a fear that I'm able to shove to the back of my mind...until things like this happen.

Because there's only a month left until the end of the semester, I am currently buying the books I need for class on Amazon. I purchase Waiting for Godot in English (which is a cruel, cruel joke because I've already read it in French), and Amazon recommends the following items:

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead by Tom Stoppard
The Stranger by Camus
No Exit and Three Other Plays by Jean-Paul Sartre
Hamlet by William Shakespeare
Two different, more expensive versions of Waiting for Godot
Murphy by Samuel Beckett
the Twilight movie

It is all too clear to me that someone...or something...has been watching me since at least last Thursday. Someone knows that I have watched Twilight (insert non-embarrassing and way less than the accurate number here) times over the past 4 days. Also, blogging about it definitely makes this information available to more people. Here's what I've been thinking.

Theory #1: The new building next to mine is called THE MORGAN and has obnoxious signs on it that say things like, "Morgan never has a bad hair day with a salon downstairs!" Perhaps Morgan has been watching me and intends to kill me 2001: A Space Odyssey style.

Theory #2: This was simply the only way Edward Cullen knew to contact me. He would like me to know that he enjoys fine European literature and would love it if I could join him for a night of dinner, dancing, and discussing Tartuffe in a context of 20th century religious struggle. Also, there may be some death involved.

Theory #3: A small division of the government that no one knows about save Mulder and Scully think that watching Twilight is a much better use of my time than reading about existentialism.

I'm gonna have to go with Theory #3.


  1. Theory #1. Definitely.

  2. Open the salon bay doors, Morgan!