Sunday, January 25, 2009

These are a few of my favorite things.

To paraphrase the great and mighty Julie Andrews, when you get bitten by a dog, stung by a bee, or caught singing to yourself in the elevator, it's always nice to cheer yourself up with something you really like. When I'm depressed, I like to listen to singer-songwriter, poet, actress (yes, actress), and activist, Jewel. Actually, listening to Jewel's music doesn't really cheer me up now that I think about it; it just makes me miss Pop-Up Video.

Anyway, for those of you who were too young to enjoy Jewel during her heyday, she's best known as a yodeling, lives-out-of-a-van, Alaskan Taylor Swift. And by calling her Taylor Swift, I mean that they are both blond and have connections to country music. If this sounds totally unappealing to you, here are some reasons why you should listen to Jewel:

1. Jewel is her real name. Her parents are Atz and Lenedra, and she married a guy named Ty Murray (two characters from Clueless and therefore a viable reason for marriage). If that's not enough inspiration for eight albums, I don't know what is.
2. She's a poet. A Night Without Armor, a clever play on words that I didn't get until just now, sold over a million copies. Take that, Robert Frost.
3. If it weren't for Jewel, I would still be leaving wet towels on the floor.
4. Hey, do you remember that time Jewel was a pop artist? I do, because that was when she got me to shave my legs again wearing my prom dress.
5. She acts. Apparently, after playing Dorothy in a production of The Wizard of Oz, Jewel played herself in Walk Hard. While reading this, I misunderstood and thought she played herself in Walk the Line. Although Jewel is really freakin' cool, she was not friends with Johnny Cash. I do firmly believe, however, that shooting people just to watch them die was part of her van-Alaska life years ago.
6. Jewel cares. She wants to save your soul and your breasts. She's done a lot of work for breast cancer organizations (anti-, not pro-), and she started her own organization to bring clean drinking water to people in developing countries. In this org's latest attempt to raise money, several well-known musical artists are auctioning off their lyrics. As in, write down your song on a sheet of paper, John Ondrasik, sign it, and we'll sell it for clean water. Unless you're Katy Perry, who is clearly too cool for paper and wrote her lyrics to I Kissed A Girl on a box of Obama O's. For your information, the bidding is up to $175 for that puppy.

So, if you love Walt Whitman, Dewey Cox, unnecessary scatting, or water, you're going to love Jewel. But chances are, you probably already do.

All of my information was gathered from Wikipedia and a superb video on the History Channel website where Jewel talks about Alaska.


  1. Breasts, Cox, and scat? This is the best porn blog ever.

  2. Jewel Rocks yeah i love jewel