Friday, July 10, 2009

Facebook, We Need To Talk.

Dear Mark Zuckerberg or Whoever Owns Facebook Now,

I know my home phone's been broken for the past week, so it's been difficult to contact me, but I'm on facebook all the time and I have a cell phone, WHY DON'T YOU JUST CALL ME UP AND TELL ME I'M MUCH TOO HAIRY FOR YOUR LIKING?  I can't take this whole beating around the bush thing, okay?  (What an awful pun.)  Just say it.  You want me to love lasers and hate body hair and wear uncomfortably low-cut sarongs all the time!  I get it.  A little honesty would have been nice.

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