Wednesday, June 24, 2009

And I Think I Remember Mel Gibson Accurately...


Due to some unnecessary commenting sass, I will now construct a lengthy post comparing and contrasting (but mostly comparing) Hamlet and Keeping Up With The Kardashians with NO videos.  Yes, consider this a punishment.

Though using different media and set in different time periods, both of these stories focus on an unconventional family whose sanity is frequently questioned.  In each family, the birth father of our protagonist has passed away prior to the telling of the story, and the mother has remarried.  (Yes, that means I'm calling Kim the protagonist.  If you're gonna have comment attitude, you better be prepared for the repercussions.)

Each family resides in a residence that is needlessly large and runs a kingdom.  Denmark and DASH both start with a D.  Coincidence?  I think not.

King Claudius, Hamlet's uncle/step-father, is our antagonist, and I know what you're thinking.  "But Bruce Jenner is the only sane one in the house!"  Here's the thing- he used to do decathlons at the Olympic level, and therefore he is neither sane nor a good guy.

As mentioned earlier, Kim Kardashian and Hamlet have a lot in common.  They're both overdramatic and freaking out most of the time.  They're the most famous characters in their stories, and let's face it- if thinking about death and going shopping were the same thing, they'd practically be the same person.

Polonius and Ophelia are essentially Kim's sisters, Kourtney and Khloe.  Always scheming and spying on everyone, by the end of the episode, you kindof wish someone would stab them through a curtain.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern add a bit of comedic relief throughout the play, much like the youngest Kardashian girls, Kendall and Kylie.  Remember the time Rosencrantz and Guildenstern sat on top of Claudius' car in tutus?  Hilarious.

ALSO, the sexual orientations of both Hamlet's author, Shakespeare, and KUWTK's executive producer, Ryan Seacrest, are often questioned.

And finally, *SPOILER ALERT* at the end of Hamlet, pretty much everyone dies...much like most of your brain cells after watching a Kardashian marathon.

If you're still questioning these parallels, watch the episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians in which Khloe demands a DNA test to prove Kris is her mom.  Only the fratricide in Hamlet can produce parental tension of the same caliber.


Maybe now you'll think twice about hating on excessive videos about Disney stars.


7 comments:

  1. I sit in awe of your genius.

    So that makes Kourtney and Khloe's new Miami show Hamlet 2, right?

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  2. Between this and that Taylor Swift song, I am seriously rolling over in my grave.

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  3. Happy Blog ReaderJune 27, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    This is the kind of good, old-fashioned blog I enjoy reading. Not watching. And you were still able to incorporate something as horrible as those people and that show, and the movie version of Hamlet. Wonderful job. Apparently the urge to post videos consumes you as the next two posts contained a combined 5 videos. Why not just post all of the Even Stevens episodes instead of just pointing us in the right direction?

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  4. A Comical Genious. Although Hamlet was a worth read. The Kardashians are a piece of shit family.

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  5. BRAVO! You should make this into a compare/contrast report of some kind and sell it. Pure genius.

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  6. what is the girls name who is wearing converse and a white shirt and black skirt???

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