Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Laura Answers Common Facebook Quiz Questions for the General Public

What plastic army man are you?
This is asshattery.  I'm already disgruntled.

Where should you have sex next?

Would Megan Fox date you?
No.  She won't.  Stop taking this quiz hoping for different results.

When will you get knocked up?
Hopefully never.  Cause you're probably one of those people who will make a facebook page for your BABY.

Which evil, evil person in history are you?
Idk, but you're worthless, worthless right now.

What animal is your spirit guide?
The wolf will be your spirit guide...that is, until it rips your face off for bastardizing sacred cultural traditions for your own personal amusement.

How well do you know men?
I can't tell if this quiz is going to tell me I'm a slut or that I can't go fishing cause I'm a girl.  Lose-lose. 

What mental disorder are you?
Oh hey, offensive, how's it going?

What percent of your brain is being used?
Oh, I'm gonna guess a whole hell of a lot of brainpower is needed for these godforsaken quizzes.

How attractive are you?
Megan Fox thinks you're a total babe.

How dirty is your mind?
Nobody gets more than a 70% on this one, because the people who actually have dirty minds are all watching online porn.

What's your stripper name?
I wonder if strippers take this.  Are they offended?  And what about all the women who were born with the name "Cherry."  WHAT ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO DO?

What color is your aura?
It's like a rainbow.  Hence your reward of five minutes of uninterrupted eye contact.

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