Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Hi, I'm Alexa Chung.
I'm 25 years old, I was born in England in one of those places that look like they're from a Richard Curtis movie -- you know, rolling countryside, a one cow village, with just me, my folks and a dog! Nothing much happened apart from when the pub's sign fell down and we had to rename the pub 'Pub.' I had a fav cat called Stimpy, and when I was five I wished I didn't have brown hair and that was childhood, basically.
Then I became a model. That sucked ... you have to stand on a cross on the floor and no one talks to you, and I'm what you call a talker. Modeling pays the bills, but as much as I love teen magazines you can't really be in them when you're 22.
I dreamt of becoming a horse-riding ballerina but it just wasn't going to happen and my dad wouldn't let me join the circus ... what's a girl to do? Hey, I wasn't going to be pigeonholed so I thought why not be a TV presenter (you would say, "host") or an actor? Actually, scrub acting. I can't do "crestfallen." So, here I am, a bona fide English TV presenter coming across the pond to party with you guys.
What else is there? OK, I like green tea, clothes and Makers Mark. I'm a vegetarian, but I'm scared of carbs. I've got one rule; I don't eat anything with a face on it. My fave book is Revolutionary Road. My least fave movie is Revolutionary Road. I'm really good at swimming and playing the recorder, and I'm really bad at singing, but I love karaoke as much as the next guy. My favorite fact is that a baby can crawl through the artery of a whale. I don't know if that's true but my friend Jack told me and he's usually right.
What else is there to say? I'm over here to make a TV show that I am beyond excited about. I wanna make something that you'll want to watch. We'll be getting some great guests and you will be able to join in all of the fun and tell me what you think as we're going along.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Due to some unnecessary commenting sass, I will now construct a lengthy post comparing and contrasting (but mostly comparing) Hamlet and Keeping Up With The Kardashians with NO videos. Yes, consider this a punishment.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Every time I see these girls billing themselves as "friends for change," aside from the fact that it sounds like a half-hearted eight-month-late attempt at a campaign ad, I have to wonder just how sincere that friendship is.
Why, you ask? In case you missed it the first time around, check out the YouTube Tween Battle 2008, and ask yourself: Really, Destiny Hope Cyrus? Are you, in fact, just being Miley? Or was this commercial shoot a nice big welcome to Awkwardville, Popoulation: You Three.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Oh hey ps LensCrafters? Hi. I just went on a completely non-sarcastic rant about how much you rock. Please send me some coupons, as I still haven't told anyone I lost my readers on a copy-editing pizza run, and am probably doing permanent damage to my eyes. K thanks bye.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
But then I revisited the "When You're a Khaki" commercial ... and the jumping snaps. Ah, the jumping snaps. How is a girl supposed to resist the jumping snaps?!?
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Dear Josh Duggar,
Angela: I got this poster for Christmas and I feel I want to see it everyday. It makes me feel like the babies are the true artists and God has a really cute sense of humor.
Michael Scott: Come on, seriously, THAT?
Oscar: I don't like looking at it; it's creepy and in bad taste and it's just offensive to me. It makes me think of the horrible, frigid stage mothers that forced the babies into it. It's kitsch. It is the opposite of art. It destroys art. This is so much more offensive to me than hard core porn!