Thursday, February 5, 2009

This is just like the time Kate and Miranda came to school wearing the same outfit!

So, apparently a Bonnie and Clyde remake is coming out, and Hilary Duff has been cast as Bonnie. Wait- it gets worse. Upon hearing this, Faye Dunaway says, "Couldn't they at least cast a real actress?" Hilary replies with, "I think that my fans that are going to see the movie don't even know who she is, so you know...I think it was a little unnecessary, but I might be mad if I looked like that now too."

First of all, Faye, you don't get to say things like that just because you're 68, and Hilary, you don't get to say things like that because you're 21. Secondly, when did the Bonnie and Clyde remake become the new Aaron Carter? Sweet lord, I can only hope he's playing Clyde.

Well, I've spoken to the director, the producer, and the casting director of the film, and they've agreed to cast whomever I deem fit for the role. Lucky me. Let's look at the facts.

Dunaway: Her Bonnie and Clyde is currently ranked #42 on AFI's 100 Years, 100 Movies (10th Anniversary). +1
Duff: I listened to "I Can't Wait" on my itunes three times today. Inexplicably, I don't have "Yesterday." +1 for Hilary, -3 for me
Dunaway: She was in Dunston Checks In, The Rules of Attraction, and GIA. +3
Duff: She was in a stellar commercial about how you shouldn't use the word "gay" as a synonym for stupid. +3
Dunaway: She may have dated Burt Reynolds. You know how they say, "When you kiss someone, it's the same as kissing everyone they've kissed"? Actually, I think that's supposed to be with sex, but I grew up in a fairly sheltered environment. Well, you know, I'm just sayin'. +3
Duff: She released a song called "Reach Out" which "sampled" Depeche Mode's (and later, Marilyn Manson's) "Personal Jesus." +3

Dunaway: 7 points
Duff: 7 points
Me: negative 3. Yeah, I owe 3 points.

Blast, it's a tie! Who had any idea that would happen?! Well, I think we should resolve this by getting Hilary and Faye together, and we should all watch Mandy Moore as the incomparable Hilary Faye in Saved! Deal? Deal.


  1. You know who else dated Burt Reynolds? My second favorite Real Housewife of Orange County. But that might have been Tom Selleck, actually. I can never remember which is which.

    Also, Burt Reynolds lived in Jupiter, Florida, fun fact my mother pointed out on the last family road trip.

  2. The Bible is not a weapon, Hilary Faye.